Bitcoin Stocks Funny Kid on Zipline
A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
How many Bitcoins for that BMW?
Joe: How many Bitcoins for that BMW?
Bob: 2 BTC.
Joe: That much? That is kinda expensive.
Bob: Well its a big company.
Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin
That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.
Bitcoin is like dating
I spend so much time trying to figure it out and have to use some POS system just to get some
I asked the prostitute will she accept bitcoin ?
"No, it goes up and down more than you do"
It is amazing that a Bitcoin is worth $8600
Imagine how much a full coin would cost!
What did the bitcoin investor say to the man who wanted some bitcoin?
MINE!
I treat my girlfriend just like my bitcoin
I never pull out.
How do you spell bubble?
B.I.T.C.O.I.N.
If I had invested $1000 into Bitcoin today I would have...
No idea how it worked
Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.
Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.
Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...
You can explore bitcoin mortgage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bitcoin insider dad jokes. There are also bitcoin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call someone with no bitcoin?
a bit poor.
I hope I get $100 of bitcoin as a Christmas present
I mean $120.23
EDIT $97.56
EDIT 2 $103.55
EDIT 3 $111.47
With all the money I made with Bitcoin I know exactly what I'm going to spend it on...
...my internet bill.
A vegan, a bitcoin trader, and someone who didn't vote in 2016 election all walk into a bar
Who tells you about it first?
What do you call a Bitcoin that lost weight?
a lite coin
A Star Wars fan, a bitcoin investor and an anti-Trumper walk into a bar...
Which one tells you about it first?
My dentist doesn't like the fact that I've been chewing on quarters.
It's the closest I'll ever get to having a Bitcoin.
Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.
Turns out he's afraid of inflation.
Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?
Because he can't go near crypto@night
i bought a waistcoat with bitcoin
It was a pretty good investment
An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...
But they were all silent compared to the person who invested in bitcoin
A vegan, a med student, and a bitcoin trader walk into a bar
Who tells you about it first?
What is sadder than my bank balance?
My bitcoin balance :(
Russian Investments
Two Russians meet up:
- Have you heard, Bitcoin went up in value?
- Ya. But I only invest in one thing - VODKA
- Why Vodka?
- Where else do you get a 40% return??
So...you want to borrow some Bitcoin, eh?
Son: Dad can I borrow 10 dollars in Bitcoin?
Dad: What do you want 6 dollars in Bitcoin for? 12 dollars of Bitcoin is a lot of money.
Do you think I should get on bitcoin now ? It's at 0.5$.
Sent via Internet Explorer.
A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...
Oh, they already told you about it too?
No one wants to swim with bitcoin miners...
Their pools are full of crypto.
I bought a Bitcoin!
And its gone!
My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...
Buying bitcoin in 2011!
what do you call Johnny Cash's millennial grandson
Johnny Bitcoin
What's the best way to become a bitcoin millionaire?
Start by being a bitcoin billionaire.
How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?
Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.
Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?
Because it's Crypto-night
If I had a penny for every crashing crypto,
I would have a bitcoin.
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday
Dad: What? $6,244??? $5,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $3,782 for anyway?
Bitcoin is gold.
A comedy gold.
Interviewer: How did you become a Bitcoin millionare
Bitcoin Millionare: ...bit by bit...
"Dad, can you get me 1 bitcoin for Christmas?"
Father: $16,548?! Why on earth would you need $15,749?
Why do hipsters have so much money?
Because they bought bitcoin before it was popular
I treat my men like I treat my bitcoin
Pump and Dump
New coin is coming out that is worth 8 times more than bitcoin!
It's name is bytecoin!
A Bitcoin trader walks into a bar
He walks up to the bar, orders a whiskey, pays the bartender one bitcoin and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be worth a million bucks!"
The bartender pours him a glass of water and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be Scotch."
Hey girl are you Bitcoin?
Because you look like you're about to crash and I'll get screwed
What does the Bitcoin and love have in common?
I always lose.
If I had a bitcoin for every gender...
I would be imagining getting a lot of pretend money for a lot of people pretending.
A boy asks his father, the Bit-coin investor,
...for some Bitcoin currency again, this time in the amount of $25.00.
Dad: $23.67? What do you need $20.32 for?
If someone is vegan, atheist, and a CrossFitter, what do they tell you about first?
They tell you about Bitcoin
Bitcoin
A.K.A. flockchain
My son asked me for $11 in Bitcoin
I asked him what he needed $17.15 for
He said he just thought $9.54 would be cool to have
Nerds buy Bitcoin currency because it reminds them of their girlfriend
Completely virtual.
A boy asked his bitcoin trading father
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?
I lost 164 pounds in the last 6 months with this one simple trick!
All I did was buy bitcoin
Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis
iPhone
Amazon
Android
iPod
Yahoo
YouTube
Snapchat
Spotify
Tesla
Skype
Uber
Airbnb
Bitcoin
Fitbit
Emojis
iPad
and
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Croatia
What Bitcoin and sex have in common?
You have to pull out at the right time.
When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.
He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.
Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo?
Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat
What's a comedian's favorite medium of exchange?
Bitcoin, followed by cocaine
My dad is a bitcoin trader
I asked, "Dad, could you lend me a tenner please?"
Dad - "£9.42? What do you need £11.63 for?
Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin?
Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for £10.00
The boy asked his Dad for £10.00 in bitcoin currency.
The das said "£9.57? What do you need £10.79 for?"
Asked for a Bitcoin for Christmas
Opened up my present to find a quarter with a bite mark
Investing in Bitcoin is like sex without a condom
Everyone's pushing you to do it and it feels good once it's rising, but not withdrawing in time can be costly.
Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Bitcoin
I know it's popular but I don't understand it
I confessed to my therapist that I've been stealing other people's Bitcoin.
He says I'm his first cryptomaniac.
I have a joke on Bitcoin
But it requires so much energy to get it.
Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments
Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
What's the different between Bitcoin and my wife?
My wife doesn't go down on me.
Get it? Bitcoins dropping and I'm in a horrible marriage.
Son asks his father (a bitcoin miner) to give him 1 Bitcoin for birthday.
Father replies: "Son! 20485$ is much cash! Why do you even need 18572$? For 21568$ You can buy a good car!"
That's it! I'm buying Omicron.
I'll be damned if I let another crypto opportunity slip away.
After many years of fighting crime as batman
Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.
All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.
What's the different between Bitcoin and my wife?
My wife doesn't go down on me
How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Who are the worst guests at a dinner party?
Vegan bitcoin owners.
Son asks his father for a gift
Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday
Dad: - What do you want Son
Son: - I need a Bitcoin
Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job
"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"
"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"
"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."
"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job yourself and have a better appreciation of how much $63,981 is on a pre-tax basis! I don't understand what you're going to do with a $26,109 bitcoin anyway.
Pick something else - $4,807 for a bitcoin is more than we were going spend."
Superman once went to a party.
Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
I had 8 Bitcoins
But a plumber stole them from me
Source: https://jokojokes.com/bitcoin-jokes.html
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